Democratic Convention Agenda

Just released from Denver, CO. Here is the agenda for the Democratic National Convention.

7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. In Spanish
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry
9.00 pm Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11.00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean & Rosie O'Donnel
l12:15 am 'Truth in Broadcasting Award' - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
12:50 am Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of 'the Great Satan,' George W. Bush
12:50 am Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic Mexican voters
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican party.
1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home

Here I is

Ok. This is where I ask or answer big questions. Questions like:

Just what has Barrack Obama done other than be a good speaker?
Why does chocolate taste so good with pretzels?
How come women don't want sex as much as men?
Why are the oldest countries in the world the most jacked up?
When will the Cubs win the pennant?
Is Tom Cruise gay?
Does Rosie O'Donnel wear a strap on?
Why did I pass up on Dawn Smoot when I had the chance to bang her?
Why is Mexican food so habit forming?
Will I ever go to Antarctica?
Has anyone had sex in space yet?